Sex Toys....Up Your Butt.

I'm a military weapons expert (stop laughing damn it). 

This is the infamous "Dildo gun". 

It fires dildos up your antagonists ass.  :)

 

I don't understand the whole "Dick Tax" thing some Findoms push. I mean you got a sexually inferior little tiny useless dicklette. Why should that mean you pay some lazy bitch a dollar...or more? 

Get your tongue out with a real woman and make up for your inadequacies.  :)

With some exceptions, our ancient ancestors mostly used their "own" parts for sexual gratification. You know, things like dick, fingers, tongue and so forth.  :)