*On a forum I frequent, a woman asked the question: "Is it possible for anyone here to explain the why of humiliation being such a turn on?" My reply to her is below.*
Just speculating and babbling here, but perhaps one aspect of it is...its counter to being a free and autonomous adult. For the most part, in everyday life, human beings do *not* like being told what to do. When we're kids, everyone is always bossing us around, and we usually hate it. So, we look forward to the day when we reach our majority and can live life the way we want, assuming that we'll be in charge of our lives. Often within the cuckold context the cuckold is told to do things, ordered around, used, sometimes *abused* and generally treated as a lesser man, more of a functionary, not the primary source of focus, and relegated to a lower status. That could be humiliating.
Another aspect...traditionally its the husband, the man, who is supposed to be Gods gift to the "little woman" wherein she is sated by his most manly lovemaking skills. So, if she's *not" satisfied, his prowess is called into question. Be it his stamina, skills, length, girth, staying power, something, or all of the aforementioned, he's not *up* to the challenge of satisfying her, ergo she's getting some side action to fulfill those needs, which he can not fulfill. So his status as being a "Most Studly Manly Macho Man" is threatened or ruined, which is a blow to the ego. That could be humiliating.
Could also be, along with the above is that in the traditional context we were chattel. A possession of sorts, so in that regard his "property" was just used by another man, a sexually superior man, so it becomes a blow to his territorial ability to outwit or outfight the "invader" that has taken *his* woman. That could be humiliating.
Human beings are voyeurs, as are all other animal species. We watch to see what others are doing, people watching. When it comes to sex, obviously people enjoy watching others do the "Boom-Boom". In this case as well, the cuckold not being allowed to engage in this boot knocking copulation, his being rejected, sitting on the sidelines, creates and/or reinforces that "second best" status, and his not being allowed to "play" is again a blow to his self esteem and ego. That could be humiliating.
For reasons that no one fully understands, human beings sexualize things, acts, objects and emotions. So for a million reasons, and probably some reasons being ubiquitous and others very individual, a certain type of man gets aroused by this rather than getting angry and aggressive. Meaning some guys would blow their lid, freak out, start swinging, become violent wanting to fight for "his" woman and or in some cases become violent towards her has well, where other guys cop an erection (or what passes for one), get aroused, and seem to revel in that newfound status and their place.
Explaining and understanding why some people are naturally drawn towards being sexually dominant and others towards being submissive is complex beyond what we currently understand. Nature versus nurture? A combination of both? No one fully knows. Compersion? I mean, swingers and those that attend orgies have all kinds of sex with each other, but the element of a power dynamic or anything BDSM isn't really there so its, just...hedonistic pleasure. There is something unique about the power structure when it comes to cuckoldry where just insert "Tab A" into "Slot B" is part of the agenda, but the mindfuckery, the sexual sadism, the cutting words, the demands, the masochism, the yielding and all the other psychological aspects take on so much more emphasis beyond just the penetrative sex, which ends up making it fucking hot, hot, hot! At least it is to me. Without a bit of "sexual domestic violence" and sadistic mind fucking of my cuckold, my making him feel humiliated, my getting a thrill and a sexual *rush* or charge out of humiliating him, without all of that, it would just be regular old vanilla sex, in which case I'd rather just read a book and have a cup of tea.
But again, I'm just ranting over here, and could be totally wrong. :)
