Maybe some people would be better served if they didn't obsess over this so much in how they right and respond to ads. If they didn't focus on every little aspect, and every tiny specific fantasy detail some have built up in their minds. Its just sex. We all like sex. Some more, some less, but whether someone is a bit dominant, or submissive, has a little thing for feet or toes, or butt sex, whatever, its all still just sex.
I think if people sort of OCD over this, spend too much time on it, it ends up making them so intense that it actually acts like a *deterrent* to potential partners. Visualize being a potential partner, a future life-mate, and coming across an ad or profile, where the other person has, what should be in many ways, a spontaneous act of pleasure, but instead, they have details scripted like a movie. That's a lot of pressure to live up to.
If, in this case, a submissive guy has an ideal "look" he expects of her, hair, height, weight, scent preference, the assumption that she owns a drawer full of strap-ons (if that's his fantasy) or a fully stocked dungeon, and will speak, write, walk, talk, fuck, suck, tease and deny according to the elaborate fantasy he's been formulating in his mind for days, or years...no one, no woman could meet that criteria, nor should she want to. It can very easily cross over from where she'd feel like a liberated, happy and horny, fun loving and care free Hotwife, and instead be an employee of the guy, trying to match his long term fantasy notions and demands.
This should be fun. Sex should be fun. If it becomes a chore, a job, where one has to toil just to meet the exacting standards another has placed on them, *before even meeting them*, its no longer an interesting proposition. Think of one of those people that, for instance, plays a board game or a friendly sports game who is so competitive, so obsessed with winning, they get mad, get upset, yell at their teammates, lie, cheat, fume, rage...just to win. Its no fun for anyone playing with them as...its just a friendly little game. That type of intensity is a drag to deal with, and a friendship and/or relationship killer. People enjoy spending time with those that enjoy life, that are fun to be with, and I've never known another woman that didn't love the company of a guy with a good sense of humor. Or I could be wrong...its just an opinion. :)
