Is this even a "thing"? I mean, is this a big problem, unknown to the vast majority of humanity? Is there a rush of guys, clamoring to find a self titled "expert" on fetishes, Female Domination, cuckoldry and related topics, who are desperate to rid themselves of those thoughts? If so, (and I not only doubt it, I fucking double-triple doubt it) would you go with some anonymous wanker using a "ConnorsUniqueCoaching" e-mail on his cheesy website?
He claims he will explain "Cuckold Psychology" and attributes it to...wait for it..."porn". Women having been engaging in the act of cuckoldry since the dawn of time. Millions of years of it, unexplained by this "unique coach" but somehow its based on the proliferation of "porn", which has been around in the photographic sense for a 100 years or so, and more like 20 in the manner most people think of, via the Internet. Cuckoldry exists in nearly all species. We, human beings, are just one more of those species.
Cuckold:
derisive name for a man whose wife is false to him, "husband of an adulteress," early 13c., kukewald, cokewold, from Old French cucuault, from cocu (see cuckoo) + pejorative suffix -ault, of Germanic origin. So called from the female bird's alleged habit of changing mates, or her authentic habit of leaving eggs in another bird's nest. In Modern French the identity is more obvious: Coucou for the bird and cocu for the betrayed husband.
cuckold (v.) of a wife or her paramour, "to dishonor (a husband) by adultery," 1580s, from cuckold
I guess all those kinky animals must have been watching some sort of ..."animal porn"? :)
I really feel for anyone that would be credulous enough to give this putz any time or money for his "counseling". If someone has some sort of issue, seriously, seek out a reputable, qualified, licenced, bonded and insured professional. But beyond that, and stating that this whole site is suspect, with a shady agenda besides just making a buck, most people I know happily embrace their fetishes, their sexuality, their enlightenment, their sharing of fantasies, lust, bodies, power, trust and fulfillment.
I debated whether or not to even include the link to his site as I don't wish to send him traffic. But after consideration, I decided its better for him to find, through back links, people like yours truly who will state categorically...."You are a fucking fraud."
And now, back to our regularly scheduled, and much loved, perversion. :)
My wish for my wife to experience pleasure even if it leaves me kneeling and watching really has nothing to do with porn....
ReplyDeleteThere's something inside me that "needs" this just as there's something she needs inside her. Pun definitely intended!!!!
I'd be just like I am if porn didn't exist....
But it does and that makes it convenient so it can be blamed for all the ills of the world!!!!
Now I have to go watch some sissy porn....what else would I do this early in the morning???
Kisses
Kaaren
Well stated. Brings up the old question, does life imitate art or does art imitate life? No matter really as...both were created by mankind. "Porn" was created by thoughts and images mankind has seen or conjured up. :)
DeleteThis male want to find a woman who would spank him. I found a woman, a little older, told of this desire after a month of knowing her. We talked about it, she totally understood, many males have this desire. Three months went by and standing before her, she said I would be spanked, her way, the way a mother would spank her child. she lowered my pants and underpants, and the spanking was very sound, I was a mess, I did face the wall. When she told me to sit on her lap, she asked is this what you want and what you thought it would be. I just hugged her, Thanked her and said it was. She hugged me, rubbed my spanked bottom, and said that it was good I understood a true spanking.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great story. Cathartic. :)
DeleteVanessa, as an occasional lurker, I would like to say that I really enjoy your blog. On this topic, I agree with you that the guy running that website is a fraud. I don’t believe that porn causes the cuckold kink or any other kink. I do think, however, that porn may lead people to discover dormant kinks.
ReplyDeleteAs a young man, I thought it would be unbearably humiliating for my wife to have sex with another man. I remember reading a Hemingway story about a man whose wife humiliated him that way, and I felt terrible for the cuckold, even though I found the story strangely exciting.
However, I had always fantasized about another form of humiliation: being spanked by women. When I discovered spanking porn online, especially F/m spanking porn, I was amazed to discover that my spanking fantasies were not unique. Thereafter, I began to explore my spanking fantasies online, together with other people. That exploration led me to discover that I was aroused by a whole range of femdom kinks, especially ones involving an element of humiliation, including cuckolding. Basically, I had evolved from a young man who would have found it unbearable to be cuckolded to a middle aged man who was so turned on by the fantasy that I shared it with my wife.
I feel fortunate that my wife was not only receptive to my fantasies of being dominated, she was also open to exploring them, first in fantasy role-plays and eventually in real life.
So, did I become a cuckold husband due to the influence of porn? I would say yes. But that doesn’t mean porn “caused” my kinks. It merely let a kinky genie out of the bottle, and I don’t think there is any way of getting that it back in the bottle. And why would I want to put it back in the bottle, considering that it has brought pleasure to me, to my wife, and to the other men who have shared in that pleasure.
I do think, however, that some people may wish they COULD put the genie back in the bottle because they feel guilty about being turned on by something they consider to be morally wrong or socially unacceptable. People like that are likely to be guilt ridden consumers of cuckold porn, and they may welcome the message that porn is the CAUSE of their kink rather than an expression of it.
Don
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DeleteThank you for the compliment and the message. One thing that comes to mind is...does art imitate life or does life imitate art? Mankind drew/carved cave art of deer, eagles, fish...and naked human beings engaged in sex, 10's of 1000's of years ago. So, were those first thoughts instilled in the brain by "porn"? Not possible. Obviously not in the modern day version (they had no electricity, much less Internet), but even in the rock carving or painting for hours and hours on a cave wall version. What I mean is the initial attraction, for drawing a nude human being, or them having sex was from what they *saw* in real life. So the thought to capture those images, was from something people were doing, rather than just imagining.
DeleteCould image or words, movies or books influence someone? Sure. But as far as "creating" the interest, I don't see how. I mean I might see a video of someone sky diving, that does not make me want to go do it. For someone *already* geared that way, that video might help to encourage them, it might stimulate their desires knowing others are into it, but its not going to make someone who fears heights/flying to do it. As you said, media may have let a fantasy *grow*, once it was out of the bottle, but something was already in that bottle to being with.
And yes, again, if someone has any issues with something, regardless of the origin, seek out qualified professional help if they feel the need...but avoid shady online anonymous people who just want your credit card number. :)