On a fetish forum I recently visited there was an interesting discussion about whether or not people involved with this type of act/lifestyle were "crazy or stupid". The implication somewhat being that there is an increased risk of ruining a relationship, breaking up, a divorce or what have you, for frisky fucking outside of the sanctity of marriage, and sans an emotional bond. The assumption, by some people apparently, being that "sex" without a relationship, or outside of a relationship, would immediately involve "love" and little "Miss Horny Hotwifey" would run off with "Ballsy Bull".
I don't confuse matters of the flesh with matters of the heart. My husband is my friend, my best friend, other half, lover, soulmate, life partner, my cuckold, my world. To that end, he is the "best" man. His integrity, humor, laughter, intelligence, enthusiasm for life, his desire to right wrongs, to advocate for others, to put others before himself, to serve something and someone outside himself, makes him "better" than most, or to some random guy with a big dick that can have sex all night. I could get the latter with a dildo.
My lovers, are guys with cocks that supply an additional physical pleasure to my life. And in providing that sensual lust and sation (giggles at self) melding together in a fantastic confluence with my psychological pleasure that feeds to/from my sexual sadistic nature, I have a win-win situation. That's wonderful...but again, I could get that from a dildo.
So for me, it has not ever been a question, or even a thought. I have the best of both worlds. Why would I ever give that up? I'm not sure why anyone would presume that most so called "Hotwives" leave their husbands...or at least in any numbers that exceed that of the average divorce rate. And I would not be surprised if its even lower than average.
I *am* however, very willing to fully confirm, that I am a little bit crazy, and sometimes stupid, and...I'm not wearing pants. :)