Saturday, June 12, 2021

I Am...Under Attack! :)

  So, there I was, maybe 2 weeks ago, middle of the night, minding my own business, trying to get some sleep. There was a ruckus on the roof. Sounded like WW3, and I figured it was some sort of cat breeding orgy festival, or maybe one chasing a mouse. I saw the outline of what looked like a fat pig through the skylight, thought it was a raccoon or something, but that seemed unlikely. Anyway, the next morning LD (Husbands nickname for the time being. I was watching "Curb Your Enthusiasm" someone called Larry David "LD", so I've been calling him that for a few weeks, but my version means..."Little Dick", lol.) came in and said water was running off the roof. So, he replaced the water cooler supply line. A few days later, same thing. A few days later, the same. Last night, same thing.  

So, its pretty obvious that I have been targeted some some sort of rabid vermin varmints, that have a major attitude and vendetta against me. Not sure why as I put out extra cat food in a few little bowls so the roving, rambling, perhaps homeless feral "sumbitches" will have some food, and this is how the ungrateful bastards repay me? Its like a terrorist attack. AlCatQuida or something. Unless, its perhaps a squirrel, or a chipmunk, or a maybe its a herd of Saber Tooth Tigers, back from extinction. All I know is...I'm going to have to do something different because...there's still like 3 months more of summer, and I can't be buying and replacing a new line every few days, or perhaps it could become every single damn day. I would not have thought a lazy ass cat would be bothered with this, but maybe the sound of water running through the line at....3:37 in the morning, is irresistible to them/it? But I'm stating this here and now, I will never capitulate nor acquiesce to the demands of a fucking cat terrorist, we're going to war (no, I would never hurt nor trap a Kitty Cat) and this is *not* over!  :)




At first, for a moment when I was woken (Awoken? Waked? Woked up?) in the middle of the night hearing all sorts of thumping and noise on the roof, I thought it was maybe a Peeping Tom, trying to scope out my big gigantic, naked fat ass through the skylight. Turns out maybe I was right. Right name, wrong species. Instead of Peeping Tom the human, it might be Peeping Tom...the Tomcat.  :) 

 

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Just finished, paint still drying. Extra wide seat cutout for...optimal facial grinding grindage.  :) 









 

11 comments:

  1. Three things:

    1) Your ass is amazing, I can see why it would attract Peeping Toms, Dicks and Harries, feline or otherwise. Maybe leave a URL for your blog next to the skylight as an easier way to gaze at your posterior?
    2) I try to keep my finger on the pulse, and I believe the kids would say you were 'woke!'
    3) I feel sorry for your pipeline situation and hope it resolves soon. I got 99 problems but a pussy ain't one!

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    1. Is "woke" the same as "woke"? You know, of course, we're having a heat wave, with it being nearly 100 degrees all this week. So, any other time, this would be minor suckage, but now...major huge suckage. But it will all be fine...and thanks for the compliment and the input. :)

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  2. Yeah, but how do you get the wrinkles out?

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  3. If you catch the bug or voyeur terrorist, give him a hard blow to the head or impale him nicely.
    At the same time, your ass can explain that we take certain risks ...:)

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    Replies
    1. Voyeur Terrorists Anally Impaled? Sounds like a cheesy porno. :)

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  4. We all, proud knights, we hastened to your worried cry. Do not hesitate, we'll take it out in trade :)

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    1. I worry about what sort of "trade" you might be in. :)

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  5. Maybe it is just trying to make you a shower? Though obviously, being an animal, it has not thought this one through and realised that the best showers are golden :)

    p
    x

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    Replies
    1. I take water showers only...but sometimes give golden showers...just for my amusement. :)

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  6. Very convenient and practical thing. I would also like to add height adjustment..

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