Words. Musing, Muttering & Mumbling. :)

 

So many people worry that their sexual interests might not be "normal". All sex, (that is consensual) is "normal"... the opinions of historical revisionists, religious fundamentalists and their prudish puritanical statements notwithstanding. Think about this, we, human beings, are mammals, you know, bipedal perambulators, animals and all that...besides mankind, where do you see, in the animal kingdom, "missionary position" sex? You pretty much don't. Because sex from the back, so called doggy-style is the norm. Yet according to some "vanilla" people, anything other than missionary is "kinky" or freaky, and/or is not being done for the right reason (meaning reproduction), perhaps is borderline sinful, yet its the way basically all mammals, and our ancestors and many of us copulate. My point is...who are the actual "freaks" in this scenario? Okay, silly example, but I think you get my point. My point being....get out there and doggy-style, gorilla fuck like we were intended to.  :) 

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Vibrators are increasingly accepted in society...for women. They are sort of discussed openly and advertised freely, but if a guy uses a fleshlight (or a pocket pussy, whatever the hell they're called), he's usually considered to be perverted or weird. Why? Both are devices people use to achieve sexual pleasure. What's the difference?  

Viagra is covered by insurance, but vibrators are not. Why? Both are products used by people to achieve sexual pleasure. Again, what's the difference?

Women that enjoy anal are viewed as being kinky, but a guy that enjoys a prostate massage is often viewed as being a sissy, gay, a wussy, a freak or whatever. Why? Where is the equality in this? And why is it that its so often women (who love vibrators, and love cock up the butt, and sometimes love their vibrators up the butt) that are the first to accuse men of being perverted for engaging in any of the above activities? Men are often mocked for desiring the same pleasures that is considered "appropriate" for women. Once again, what is the difference?

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Lately I've been seeing an increasing interest in what some would term "Gentle FemDom" and in some cases, also an increase in submissive guys running ads just point blank seeking a "Mommy". Good. Great. Fine, I'm all for it. However, maybe they should focus less on titles and vernacular, and just first find a compatible friend instead? I would speculate about 98% of all women, anywhere and everywhere, those that are sexually dominant included, would freak out if someone approached them and, in the dating sense, asked them to be a "Mommy". Outside of a very small subset of a BDSM fetish, no one even knows what that term means...with the exception of the actual definition, meaning a mother, the maternal unit that births and raises her offspring. 

Domme, Top, FemDom, MomDom, Gentle-FemDom, Mommy, Governess, Mistress, Dominatrix, Dominatrice, Goddess, Sadistic Matronly Mother of the Womb...those are all just words. I mean ultimately, they appear to be looking for a female to share things with, perhaps their whole life, wherein she's a bit more domineering and maybe sexually aggressive, in some context compared to the typical patriarchal norms, and that's about it. Meaning they're looking for a female, a friend, a lover, maybe a girlfriend or a wife, a companion and so on first and foremost, and whatever else (above title wise) secondly. Maybe not using certain words that are a bit too intense for some people might increase the likelihood of getting worthy replies. After meeting said female, those sorts of specifics and details, when you get to know each other a bit, are when those sort of topics and issues would be more appropriately discussed. It's just something to consider.

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Lifestyle Dommes versus ProDommes.

ProDommes are those that offer paid sessions in person. Think you meet at their home, your home, a hotel, a dungeon etc...for an hour or a set time. The good ones are generally legit, are well established, verifiable, have references or reviews and are part of a unique fantasy fulfillment for submissive guys that prefer that option. The "online" version however...for the most part, is just someone lying to you for quick cash. They often have fake photos, buy photo sets, videos, write up or plagiarize text, contracts, stories and so on from other websites. Think a 280 pound hairy Nigerian dude...pretending to be a "ProDomme". Regarding the latter, consider the old adage...a fool and his money are soon parted. I would advise avoiding them at all costs. 

No real surprise, but pointing out that the in-person, in the flesh Domme group is legit, versus the spamming/scamming idiots, seriously upsets the "online Pro's". In fact, I don't recall ever seeing a group of people more hyper-defensive than so called online "Dommes", with the exception perhaps of religious fundamentalists. Any comment, a dose of reality, factually based statements, verifiable statistics, and some lose their minds and go nuts with posts of feigned indignation and outrage, harping about their supposed "skills" and talents, for which there is no criteria nor test to establish what those might even be.

And obviously neither is the same as a Lifestyle Domme. When guys ask questions about the difference between a lifestyle FemDom, and one hired by the hour...I'm going to tell them the truth, detractors be damned. When someone asks where, or if, there are sexually dominant women that are not doing it as a hired-by-the-hour employee, I'm going to tell them yes, we exist. When someone asks if the majority of online Dommes, Mistresses, Sugar Babies, Gold Diggers are scammers, and I say...yes they are, its because they are. Someone asks a question, I answer it. This question seems to pop up often on some forums, and the online Dommes usual don't like other peoples replies. I don't care when its an open forum where people ask questions, and others answer. If discourse, reality, free speech, alternate opinions or the Internet in general offend them...they should stay the hell off the Internet. 

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Facts are facts. That means science and evidence. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, however, that opinion is *not* fact, unless they can back it up with science. People stating "I quickly did a Google search and posted what I found" is not evidence of fact...but simply of a perfunctory internet search. On forums I tend to frequent, sex and religion, politics, those that claim to be "tolerant" Christians and related discussions often arise. Religious tomes are not fact, nor are they science. For example, organized religion is the origin of much persecution, racism, sexism, homophobia, oppression and wars. The conflation of "sex and gender" is mostly based on organized religions stone age mentality, so bringing "tolerant" Christians opinions into the conversation is silly, and some would posit that term is an oxymoron. There are legitimate questions about sex, trans, LGB, the confluence of human beings with so called "alternate" lifestyles in society, sports, public areas, lavatories, and so on, and I think its important to discuss those issues as it can dispel myths and lower some peoples unfounded fears. But, that discussion has to be backed by...facts and evidence. 

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People should do what they want, write about, watch, and live what interests them, and the myriad of fetishes in all their permutations is generally a good thing. Some prefer part time fetish "encounters", the odd meeting here and there, and that's fantastic, if its what they desire. But my interest has always been in what I would term the "born to serve" submissive. That undefinable element in their personality where every movement, their body language, eagerness for genuflection, obeisant nature and characteristics...its a rarity. I'm not saying one is better or worse, whatever matches those involved, roleplay, 24/7, anywhere in between is what's right for them. Its not a competition, just mentioning what I prefer.  

I want to mention, for those of you that leave comments here on my blog, thank you very much for the messages. My intent is to try to spread a bit of information, advice, humor, good cheer, optimism and happiness (giggles at self). However, like others, I do tend to get drug down into the...heaping pile of puerile putrid floccinaucinihilipilification that passes for news, policy, headlines and so called "celebrity news" these days. So, your supportive missives help. Alrighty then, the above is not spellchecked, not vetted for syntax accuracy, probably not grammatically correct, certainly not formatted, probably makes no sense, and I have to tell you something here...I don't really give a frisky, frigid, flambéed, flying fuck because, its just me babbling, and...I'm not wearing pants!   :)