Dealing with Fetish "Guilt". :)

Recently I've seen a variety of posts and messages here and there about people struggling with "fetish guilt", which obviously is just an extension of sexual guilt. This is most unfortunate, because every day life is hard enough to deal with, and the last thing people need is extra stress over feeling guilty for simply being born how you/we are.   

 Without going into some long rant over the origins of sexual guilt (monotheistic religions) I'm going to speculate that in many ways this could be even more profound for males who are submissive. That's not to minimize the baggage and guilt that women feel (Lord knows I had to deal with a few issues when I was younger from my own upbringing), and its not a competition, but within the fetish world submissive women are usually more "accepted" as it follows certain ridiculous archaic social constructs, cultural customs and the historical development of that nonsense.  

One thing that's bothering me, perhaps more so lately, is how some self proclaimed "dominant" women are failing to acknowledge this, failing to address it, and in many cases exploiting it. Look, all things notwithstanding, we're dealing with human beings here. While social attitudes are changing, slowly, very, very slowly, men are still mostly expected to be the macho guy, the leader, the one in charge, tough, stoic, like a rock and all that jazz, and not to display vulnerability. And I can think of few things where a man would be more vulnerable, than expressing submissive desires, and submitting to them. I mean, talking face to face with a woman he hopes to "be with" (in whatever capacity) where he may be alluding to being a sex slave, getting ass fucked, being beaten, on his knees, forced to do certain sex acts for her pleasure and amusement, perhaps ordered to wear what is deemed "feminine" attire, while running the risk of being viewed as a "freak" or a pervert, maybe laughed at, mocked, outed, and perhaps rejected, that takes a lot of guts to open up about.  

The human psyche is odd, in some ways so strong and powerful, in other ways so fragile and weak. I think with the spread of  "Sexual Female Domination" content on the web, books, blogs, memes, movies, stories, and then the online "Dommes", some ProDommes, the so called "FinDoms" and so on, an inhuman, calloused and apathetic attitude has grown. With the last examples, its just business, its about money, the human element is disregarded and ignored.  

Perhaps people are confusing real life with the online fantasy version. In real life, protecting the mental and emotional health of your submissive is of paramount importance. Its a human being. Its someone that needs to be protected. Sure, ballbusting, slapping him around, punishment, verbal humiliation or whatever within that context is good, its great, it can be fucking fantastic! But that happens when some sort of bond and trust has been established. Before, during and after, the guys self esteem, happiness, stability and sanity needs to be attended to. With the freedom of being sexually dominant, also comes some responsibility. A submissive guy is offering you a gift, him, himself, his open heart and mind, his soul, his hopes, lusts, desires and dreams. That gift should be appreciated, not abused or exploited. 

I've heard what seems to be about 47 quabillion women, including some of my girlfriends, complain that the men in their lives won't "let them in" or are too distant, unreachable, and shut them out. Obviously this could apply to all aspects of their relationship, and yes, sex is included, but I sometimes think that men can't win in this matter...they are "wrong" if they don't open up, and might be subjected to ridicule and rejection when they do. They get accused of "toxic masculinity" on one hand, and then maybe of being a "wussy snowflake" on the other. Its not right. Its not fair. Its not healthy, and it should be discussed and treated with sincerity and empathy. He's a human being...