10 Sexual Phrases You Probably Need To Google.

10 Sexual Phrases You Probably Need To Google.

Funniest thing ever, in the history of funny things...to me. :)

I'm messing with people on Reddit. On one of the cuckold SubReddits this little interaction just took place. He posted his message, I'm trying to make a joke. But we are now in a world that is so bizarre with fake/false/fictional aspects of "cuckold" porn, movies, stories, apps and sites, the vernacular having become so stupid, twisted and jaded, the poor guy can't even figure out that "Bulls" fuck cows...in a pasture. Can't stop laughing, in the truest sense of Lol... :) 

Need some assistance. PM me with reply’s nsfw imindare****

Besides cuckold personals, anyone know of another place to find couples in need of a bull? 

Comment as VanessaChaland

41 minutes ago

Cattle pastures? 

imindare****

7 minutes ago

App or website or subreddit? 

VanessaChaland

3 minutes ago

A field.

In the country.

Where cows graze? :)

 

 

 

Wednesday Evening Random Memes. :)

I like this...bicycle, cart, conveyance, transportation device...thingie.  :)

 

Paddles - Spanking Straps - Tawse

I'm bringing this shop to the attention of readers. This talented lady creates fantastic looking discipline implements. For anyone that is in the market for one, its worth visiting her shop. 

Paddles - Spanking Straps - Tawse 

 

Paddles - Spanking Straps - Tawse 

Check this out...

Interesting sound and "time signature changes" between two "genres". Meaning at first it seems like two songs, but then melds together and by the end of it...I really like it. The videography is great also, moody, the dancer really adds to the effect. I'm a bit familiar with...well, no further comment/names will be mentioned...but I could identify "nakedness", on sight.  :)

Monday Covfefe Hangover! :)

Doing that whole "neighborly" thing.  :)

 

Baggage claim...

                                

A simple and easy exercise anyone can do while isolating at home.  :)

                                

                                           Emblematic of life during isolation.  :)

Sheesh....sigh. 

  

Glacier National Park.

 

Obanazawa, Japan. 

 

 

This agate stone looks like a window to the ocean.

 

 

Tehran, Iran 1973. Before religious fundamentalists took over and began oppressing and beating women, forcing them to cover their bodies to adhere to a male interpretation of a patriarchal religion. #MIGA Make Iran Great Again... 

 

Healthcare workers face off against anti-lockdown protesters. According to local accounts, healthcare workers from a Denver-area hospital blocked lines of trucks and cars campaigning against the state government's COVID-19 stay-at-home order. There would have been more doctors and nurses involved, but they were too busy saving the lives of the relatives of the stupid fuck #MAGA protesters...

 

I was going to make one of these...but then I got distracted by Chicken Guac Tacos and Häagen-Dazs and well...I don't think I need to explain any further. :)  

Home Cleaning & "Maid" Maintenance... :)

  Someone asked me why my home always looks so clean, based on photos they've viewed which I posted. See, here's the thing...I invested, rather wisely I might add, in a state of the art home cleaning "apparatus". Its called a submissive husband, who also has cleanliness OCD's, when properly prompted. I haven't touched a vacuum, broom, mop, Windex, dust rag, scrubbie, rake, trash can, trash bag, washing machine, washer, dryer or otherwise like typed home maintenance devise in years and years and years, maybe a decade...or more. 

I do however, own hairbrushes, canes and straps.    :)

 

I'm wearing socks.

Just wanted to mention that.  :)

Submissive Male's Perspective. (Reader.)

 (Reposted *with* his permission...in relation to a recent blog post of mine.)   :)

 

Hello Miss Chaland,

Interesting point.

I dare to counter it by saying that, at least in the Netherlands, girls are being raised to say that they have a right to have fun in bed too.

Sex must always be about fun.

Orgasms are part of that fun.

So if a lady can't climax from her partner, she must tell him/her what he/she is doing wrong.

L**** and I are together for more than 20 years now.

The first times that we slept together, I needed over 30 minutes to make her cum.

Simply because she wasn't telling me her 'spots'.

I was really 'all over the place', finding out what she liked.

I pressed her to tell me what she liked happening to her, being her lover.

It worked.

Look, Miss Chaland, I consider myself as a 'giver'.

I don't need to penetrate my wife to climax and, never had that 'need'.

Handjobs, calvejobs, titjobs and blowjobs are just as good or better.

I pleasure my wife to a climax and she does it to me.

In my days as a bachelor, I was a frequent visitor of brothels.

In one I was together was a much older, but still very busty, German lady.

We were cuddling and my erection was pulsing, but she didn't touch it.

I started to move towards her vagina, start to finger it.

She relaxed and if needed, slowed my hand in motions.

It took about 30 minutes and several corrections of 'speed' when she suddenly shivered.

I could feel her vagina contract.

When I asked her if she just had climaxed, she said yes.

'Really'?, I asked again.

'Yes, silly', she said. 'Look at my hands, they are shivering even now'.

That was the first time I made a woman climax.

So, my point it that sex is about equality.

I also visited 3x a professional dominatrix.

Really interesting stories and, although over 25 years ago, I still remember them vividly.

Kind regards,

M****