This question was posed a couple years back but is still relevant to current "breakdowns" of Dommes versus subs I think. Perhaps even more so now than before.
I think one of the issues with "Female Domination" as its currently seen by many in the media, is how its depicted *by* that same media. If someone only views "FemDom" in the sexual sense with leather or a whip or whatever accouterments, the numbers may seem fairly small. But in reality, female domination, or assertiveness, or sexual aggression or being demanding, can take as many paths as there are of us on the planet.
I mean we've all probably seen multiple examples in everyday life of a passive henpecked husband, submissive in mannerisms and speech, yielding to his powerful and bossy wife, and that same couple may have been celibate for a decade.
Or one could use the example of a very sexually dominant woman...who just happens to be a lesbian. And then of course there is the example that you provided of professional domination, which I don't really count as "FemDom" in the context we often ascribe to that word/term because its a guy paying a woman to act out through role play his sexual fantasies...so she is in effect his employee.
But on the aforementioned note of "role-play" that is, what it is, for most people....playing a role. I think the dynamic of a 24/7 female domme, male sub is probably quite rare. For many couples its an activity that they engage in to spice up their lives, to act out sexual fantasy, to mutually explore, and that's fantastic as its adds to their lives substantially.
Over the last couple of decades, perhaps 15 or so years really, the attitudes of many in society have changed enabling men to be more open, more honest, more vulnerable so in addition to other aspects of life, the submissive nature of some has risen to the surface where they can feel less judged. This is a good thing, but it could appear to others that all of a sudden many/some men are no longer acting like "men", are becoming simpering wimps, spineless, far too uxorious, and skewing polls and data that make it seem like a wussy revolution. In reality I think the split between dominant males, and submissive males has probably remained the same, but its just more open and out there, where people are aware so it appears that men are becoming increasingly sexually submissive.
Of course I have no data to prove this, its just an opinion...and I'm not wearing pants! :)
Well I haven't changed much but my Sweetheart has definitely become more dominant in our relationship over the years....much to our mutual delight!!!!
ReplyDeleteLike so many other things in the modern interconnected, instant gratification, on demand, privacy challenged world we live in....everything once hidden, intentionally or otherwise, is treated as a new trend when the simple reality is that it's always been this way!!!!
More pedophiles now than then....I don't think so....but there's certainly more reporting about it...I mean...I remember being warned not to take candy from strangers, don't you?
More sexual activity....don't make me laugh....sex is THE primal urge!!!
More femdom.....I knew so many families where the wife/mother was the absolute boss....she controlled everything from the wallpaper to the purse strings!!!!
I'm always suspicious of people who make pronouncements of something being new about humans....I think these are the same people who make the lists of the greatest movies of all time and none of them are any older than 1980!!!!
Now about your lack of pants....what can I say but......BRAVO!!!! I like the purple but those black ones....they'll be in my dreams tonight!!!!
Happy Easter/Passover if you observe either of them!!!
Kisses
Kaaren
Good thing you don't live in my neighborhood SlutLips, I'd approach you and ask, "Hey little Slutgurl...you want some "candy"? :)
DeleteVanessa,
ReplyDeleteI'm confused by the chart? Is that supposed to be a real study? Seems to me the number should be reversed?
Based on what I see online Femdom is a much larger fetish than the reverse. One actually has to search to find male lead photos or posts, but female lead are almost common place. Hell I think I've seen magazine or television ads with a female lead theme.
Going further on what you said about the roles in a nonsexual environment, I completely agree, it is more predominant than those charts show. I live in an over 55 condo community and many of the couples who live here are more female lead than male. In my building alone there are two single males, one single female, one lesbian couple, and two female lead couples, and no male dominant couples.
Now to be fair, and honest, those numbers could change dramatically based on age, race, ethnicity and religion. There are areas in the Middle East, or south east Asia where women are still treated as second class citizens. Where I live it's 100% over 55; probably 80% Caucasian; and 90% Christian or Jewish. It is also middle to upper middle class, and that too could have a bearing on the numbers.
That is why I'm confused about the charts???
Lastly, I TRY to never have pants on when I think of you! ;)
Joe D. Footsniffer
I would not state nor assume that the charts are 100% double placebo verified and bank worthy in their conclusions. :)
DeleteVanessa,
DeleteI just saw the funniest photo and it reminded me of you. It had just finished raining, and there was a rainbow. This couple came up with a great concept for a photo.
The wife (or girlfriend) bent over, and her partner positioned her so the rainbow appeared to be shooting out of her ass! She happened to be wearing rainbow colored leggings, so the imagery was PERFECT!
Of course I thought of you because I'm sure rainbows could come out of the cute ass of yours!
Joe D. Footsniffer
You work for Hallmark Cards? :)
DeleteThe first time my wife told me my childish behavior would be treated as such I had no idea what she meant. A month into our married life she walked into the bathroom as I stepped out of the shower. We need to talk and after drying off went to the bedroom. I was shocked she grabbed my arm over her lap I went and her hand warmed my bare bottom soundly. Getting off her lap, I looked at her, get to the kitchen she said and naked I found myself doing as told. Spankings are apart of the marriage now, I have found I have less stress, enjoy having her take charge. My spankings are punishment, she now uses a hairbrush her mother gave her. I still face the wall after a spanking. It does not matter the time of day and place. Have been spanked visiting my widow mother-in-law, while on vacation in a hotel. I do as told, do not talk back. The worse is when she bares my bottom calls me her naughty little boy and have been told I will call her Mommy. I do not object, oh I have erection, it is gone quickly. Facing the wall and displaying my spanked bottom is not fun at all, but do not rub, talk, don’t wish another spanking so soon.. For this male it is needed and I’m a better person thank’s to my wife. Jack
ReplyDeleteShe sounds wise and wonderful Jack. :)
DeleteI think you are right, in the last 15 to 20 years attitudes have changed quite a lot. Submissive males have come out of the closet, just as gays have. A few months ago I was talking to a middle-aged woman at work and she remarked that spanking was much less common nowadays than it used to be. I could not resist the temptation and said: "I don't know, my girlfriend spanks me sometimes." She smiled and said: "I guess you don't object when she puts you across her knee!"
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that sort of conversation happens in a work environment. Granted I work for myself so have no clue, but all I see and hear about is the hyper-sensitive nature of anything "sexual" in the workplace. Anyway...good for her! :)
DeleteConversations at work have covered all subjects. Spend that many hours a day with co-workers you can't help it. I had such a conversation not on spankings but joking with a older lady and it was okay until I stepped over the line, I knew better. She said softly, we need to talk after work young man. It was a Friday, she was single and invited me to her place. We did talk about what I said and when she mentioned with a smile that a spanking would be the proper way to address this. I smiled and before I knew it was bare bottom over her lap and pleading for her to stop. I did spend the night, no sex, Saturday morning my bottom was sore and red. She asked how I liked the spanking. I found myself saying I did not but knew it was best for me. She in time introduced me to the girl I married and yes my wife knows how to properly give a spankings thanks to this woman. So the work place has changed over the years, one must go with it.
DeleteThat's a great story...with a happy ending. :)
Deletesuch talk at work is very rapport dependent and how daring the person may be
ReplyDeletei think there is an age element too
i had a coworker who proudly revealed the things she did with and to her hubby....vs i was petrified of being found to be wearing panties
younger coworkers see little to more risque talk and where it can be made funny as more acceptable. seeing it as funny to buy an outfit for the boss (me) at halloween thats a disney princess. or the charity pie your boss in the face where opposite sex coworkers arrest secret ballot nominated people to get pie'd fake struggle to increase the fun my wife insisted knowing the ladies that work for me would be voting for me
See that's where I get confused sissy-snow...all I see on the media is the #MeToo movement and sexual harassment court cases, but I know humans are still humans, with a sex drive, curiosity, a desire to talk, share, joke around and so forth, so I know reality is somewhere in the middle. :)
Deletethe me too is very much a concern
Deleteyou cant smile at someone in the elevator these days without it being construed as something else.
i do think its the rapport. there are things you can share with someone you would not dream of with another
Ergo why I never smile. :)
Delete