Saturday, December 24, 2016
Friday, December 23, 2016
Mom Proofing the House for the Holidays.
I say "Mom", but this applies to any relatives or friends that may gather at your home for the Holiday Festivities, or Festivus...if that's your bent. :)
I don't have a great deal of company in my home. So on the rare occasions that someone is going to be visiting, I have to scan and check and hide and stash a variety of things.
You know how it is, you got nipple clamps hanging over the shower rod clipped to some lingerie so they can air dry.
There is a vibrator on the nightstand, two tubes of lube, and a bong. :)
You're using a riding crop as a fly swatter (joking, but it made me giggle).
Your TV remote batteries are dead so you're using a cane to push the buttons up and down from your lazy-ass flop-spot on the couch.
An old gag/joke horse sized dildo is being used as a doorstop.
You have to stash the Queening chairs otherwise "Aunt Ethel" (bless her heart, she's 92, has cataracts and bad knees) will make a beeline for anything that looks like a chair.
There's so much rope laying around Mom asks if you recently took up mountain climbing.
You got your whips, and hairbrushes and handcuffs scattered everywhere.
You forget that the jewelry you're wearing all has BDSM or Cuckold related symbols.
The blow up doll still has a dildo stuck in its ass, and you're mannequin has recently been branded. (That was a wild night, lol.)
So, pretty much you have to rent a POD storage container just to hide all the sex paraphernalia, and just when you think you've got it all....your Rottweiler comes around the corner with a "Whip me Beat me Fuck me Eat me" pair of printed panties that he grabbed out of the clean laundry basket.
Bring on the spiked Egg Nog.. :)
I don't have a great deal of company in my home. So on the rare occasions that someone is going to be visiting, I have to scan and check and hide and stash a variety of things.
You know how it is, you got nipple clamps hanging over the shower rod clipped to some lingerie so they can air dry.
There is a vibrator on the nightstand, two tubes of lube, and a bong. :)
You're using a riding crop as a fly swatter (joking, but it made me giggle).
Your TV remote batteries are dead so you're using a cane to push the buttons up and down from your lazy-ass flop-spot on the couch.
An old gag/joke horse sized dildo is being used as a doorstop.
You have to stash the Queening chairs otherwise "Aunt Ethel" (bless her heart, she's 92, has cataracts and bad knees) will make a beeline for anything that looks like a chair.
There's so much rope laying around Mom asks if you recently took up mountain climbing.
You got your whips, and hairbrushes and handcuffs scattered everywhere.
You forget that the jewelry you're wearing all has BDSM or Cuckold related symbols.
The blow up doll still has a dildo stuck in its ass, and you're mannequin has recently been branded. (That was a wild night, lol.)
So, pretty much you have to rent a POD storage container just to hide all the sex paraphernalia, and just when you think you've got it all....your Rottweiler comes around the corner with a "Whip me Beat me Fuck me Eat me" pair of printed panties that he grabbed out of the clean laundry basket.
Bring on the spiked Egg Nog.. :)
Twas the Night before Christmas Cuckold Poem.
(My husband is out of town again. God, I'm bored. So as we are getting inundated with Christmas.....everything....carols, ads, sales, music, shows etc, I heard part of the original and decided to take a couple moments to rewrite it to suit my Christmas wish list. The fact that one of my lovers names is Nick, made it even more accurate.)
Make me Come ! Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my home Not a cuckold was stirring, not even a moan. My stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that my lover soon would be there.
My cuckold was nestled all snug in his bed, While nightmares of used condoms danced in his head. And me in my ‘slutgear', and having a night cap, Had given up on my Bull, and settled for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my vibrator to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and began fingering my gash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But my lovers car, coming ever so near.
With a well hung driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Bick Dicked Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called out my name!
"Now Hotwife! Now, Cougar! Now, Slut-Chick and Vixen! On, Cock! On, Balls! On ride me to Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now strip away! Disrobe away! Tear away all!"
As dry as an unused pussy is before the wild hurricane fly, Which moistens quickly meet with a hard cock, wit an unzipped fly. So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With his balls full of superior sperm, and maybe seconds too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The grunting and groaning of each massive hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney Big Dicked Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in denim, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of condoms he had flung on his back, And he looked like a perfect Stud, just massaging his erect pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His smiling mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the perfect teeth as white as the snow.
The stump of his cock-pipe he held tight in his hand, And the bit of pre-cum leaking and large balls proved he was a real man. He had broad shoulders and a nice tight belly, That heaved and pulsated, as my knees turned to jelly!
He was erect and primed, and cock sure of himself, And I squirted and moaned when I saw him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I should show him my bed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of my clit, And giving a nod, he pounded away at my wet slit!
He banged and pounded and fucked away, inside my pussy which was quite splayed, And I was thrilled and coming from finally getting layed. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas Vanessa, hope your cuckold enjoys the "extra thick and sticky egg nog" I left him to lick up and to all a great cuckold good-night!"
(God, I'm bored.) :)
{I wrote this a few years ago and repost if every Christmas because I am wayyyy to lame to write a new one, lol. :)}
Make me Come ! Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my home Not a cuckold was stirring, not even a moan. My stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that my lover soon would be there.
My cuckold was nestled all snug in his bed, While nightmares of used condoms danced in his head. And me in my ‘slutgear', and having a night cap, Had given up on my Bull, and settled for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my vibrator to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and began fingering my gash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But my lovers car, coming ever so near.
With a well hung driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Bick Dicked Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called out my name!
"Now Hotwife! Now, Cougar! Now, Slut-Chick and Vixen! On, Cock! On, Balls! On ride me to Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now strip away! Disrobe away! Tear away all!"
As dry as an unused pussy is before the wild hurricane fly, Which moistens quickly meet with a hard cock, wit an unzipped fly. So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With his balls full of superior sperm, and maybe seconds too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The grunting and groaning of each massive hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney Big Dicked Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in denim, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of condoms he had flung on his back, And he looked like a perfect Stud, just massaging his erect pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His smiling mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the perfect teeth as white as the snow.
The stump of his cock-pipe he held tight in his hand, And the bit of pre-cum leaking and large balls proved he was a real man. He had broad shoulders and a nice tight belly, That heaved and pulsated, as my knees turned to jelly!
He was erect and primed, and cock sure of himself, And I squirted and moaned when I saw him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I should show him my bed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of my clit, And giving a nod, he pounded away at my wet slit!
He banged and pounded and fucked away, inside my pussy which was quite splayed, And I was thrilled and coming from finally getting layed. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas Vanessa, hope your cuckold enjoys the "extra thick and sticky egg nog" I left him to lick up and to all a great cuckold good-night!"
(God, I'm bored.) :)
{I wrote this a few years ago and repost if every Christmas because I am wayyyy to lame to write a new one, lol. :)}
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed,
Pull out my chair and hold my hand,
Massage my feet and help me stand,
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.....
A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
(Found online, author unknown.)
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed,
Pull out my chair and hold my hand,
Massage my feet and help me stand,
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.....
A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
(Found online, author unknown.)
Thursday, December 22, 2016
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